Sometimes it can be so hard to trust in God! Today I can only think how gracious and merciful he is to put up with me...
I had a trying day because all at once the reality of my financial situation crashed down on me and I felt really overwhelmed. I had two phone calls about hundreds of dollars of my imaginary money that people expect me to fork out to them immediately. I also have a lot of allergies... and you may wonder what that has to do with anything, but I'll get there.
I feel like I'm allergic to everything. I can't handle dust, dogs or cats and probably some regular summer stuff that can't be avoided in the country. I don't know exactly, but I've been praying to be healed of my allergies because I have horrible sneezing fits all the time and I get headaches from contantly blowing my nose and being stuffed up and sneezing. It's a disaster. I don't believe that it's God's will for me to be on medication all time, and that's why I pray for healing. The body is a temple of the Holy Spirit... it is not to be detroyed with meds. I have strong opinions about it, and I know not everyone would agree with me... but I understand that some people need medication. I don't have a serious illness, so I will be stubborn about it.
So, when all this financial stuff came crashing down on me and I didn't know how to handle it, and I was in the middle of an allergy attack, and I was just plain confused and angry, I said, "Lord, I feel like you've abandoned me!"
I quickly thought better of it and said, "I'm sorry. Please help me, Jesus. I don't have a clue what I need to do."
Suddenly things changed and I just started moving... Instead of depair, I had motivation. I didn't worry or think angry thoughts about people. I mean, I'm the one who put myself in a tough situation financially. Why be angry? So, I did what could be done about my finances, kept focused on what I could do instead of what I couldn't do. I was also happy and completely at peace.
Things like this are the miracles of everyday life that show how merciful our God is! I know I don't change my bad attitudes that quickly. If it was up to me, I'd sit around and mope for days, distracting myself with TV, food and crappy music. But I didn't need distractions. I just needed Jesus and I'm so fortunate that He can forgive me for thinking that he's abandoned me. I feel like the Israelites in the desert (in the book of Exodus), whining to Moses about their circumstances, after all the miracles they'd seen already!
God knows we're a bunch of whiners and life is always going to be too difficult. If it were easy, we wouldn't cry out to him for help.
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3 comments:
Hello, Ryan! You left a comment on my blog today saying it encouraged you, and I wanted to drop you a line, so I checked out your blog! I like your post today... so many people think that being saved is all about where you go when you die. But they're missing the bigger picture! It's those moments of dispair that we all have, when God's saving grace steps in that makes such a huge difference in our lives. I think THIS is what "being saved daily" means... literally, that God saves us each and every day from the traps that we fall... and sometimes jump... into. Sometimes He picks us up before we're flat on our face, and sometimes He lets us fall on our face before we feel His tender loving arms holding us and cleaning us up. But He IS THERE to save us daily, if we are willing to rely on Him!
Anyway... I originally headed over here to let you know that, if you like little stories of "Everyday Miracles" (as my mother called them), you might like this little book we published that she wrote. We found it after she died, and it's stories of God's supernatural intervention from her life. If you're interested, you can download it for free. (We didn't want to make people pay to read it.) It's here.
Hi Ryan! I saw your comment on my inbox, and said 'Ryan. Do I know a Ryan?' ha ha. I'm so glad God led you to mine and my sister's pages. We don't blog often, but we try to be inspirational, uplifting, and challenging when we do. I'm glad my blog encouraged you!
It was good to read your blog as well. I can identify with many of those places (although I am blessed with good health), and I applaud your steadfastness to believe for wholeness for your life. You're right! As David said, "I would have despaired unless I had believed I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." Hmmm. Knowing the Lord. That's what challenged me about what I blogged. Not the first time I've blogged about that thought either. But here's another verse to support that: "So let us know, let us press on to know the Lord. His goings forth are as certain as the dawn, and He will come to us like the rain; like the spring rain watering the earth." I believe that's Hosea.
Be blessed brother! Good to meet you!
Oh, hey, by the way ... you sound a lot like my brother David. Check him out! He's on myspace. www.myspace.com/somespace_else. What kind of art do you do? Our family has a bit of the artist bug ourselves ... some more than others. My sister loves interior design; I go more in for fine art. Although I'd like to learn more than I know. Again, good to meet you!
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